Starting in elementary school, there are certain stereotypical behaviors that separate boys from girls. While girls tend to and are taught to behave more proper, respectful and mature, boys are often taking part in all sorts of shenanigans. Playing in the dirt, picking their noses, farts, all of these are just thought to be the inevitable behavior patterns of boys. These strange and unruly behaviors are widely accepted because, stereotypically, all males are believed to behave this way.
We’ve all heard the saying “Boys will be boys.” It’s generally used as an excuse for boys behaving inappropriately, based on the notion that biologically, they can’t control themselves or help their actions. Sometimes, it’s fairly innocent. A little boy getting dirt all over his new shirt after playing outside? Boys will be boys. Sometimes, it isn’t. A boy hitting a female classmate during recess? Boys will be boys, and it probably means he likes you!
The second argument is far more damaging than the first. A few years ago, an image of a four-year-old girl with stitches under her eye went viral, accompanied by a post by the girl’s mother, Merritt Smith. According to the story, the mother had taken her daughter to the emergency room to get stitches after she had been hit by a male classmate. Once at the hospital, a male employee attempted to console the little girl, saying that the boy who had hit her can’t help himself since “boys will be boys” and that he probably had a crush on her. A four-year-old girl who had just suffered an injury from another worthy of a trip to the emergency room was told that the boy probably did so out of affection.
As a society, we often times wonder why abusive relationships occur. We wonder why people choose to remain in situations of domestic violence. We ask these questions often, even going as far as to condemning and judging both the perpetrator and the victim. But as a society, we are failing to reevaluate our own rhetoric. These problems can rarely be solved once they have already happened. Do we not see that as a society, we are failing to address violence from the very beginning?
In the adult society, we do not dismiss violence between adults as signs of affection. So why do we still choose to send this message to the future generations? Love is love, and violence is violence. As a species, both violence and love are inevitable considering our biology. However, violence and love are not synonymous. They simply do not belong together.
All people should be held accountable for their actions instead of relying on gender stereotypes to help them escape the responsibility of treating others with respect. It’s time to stop utilizing the phrase “boys will be boys” because boys, like the rest of society, should and will be held accountable for their actions.
Originally published at https://www.theodysseyonline.com on August 3, 2017.
